Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The year in Review

2009 was quite a year indeed. I have to say I am pretty pleased that the highs certainly outweighted the lows of the year. I never thought I would feel like I was home so far away from friends and family and boston but it is starting to happen, and I am relieved of that. Most of my years have been dominated by which endurance event I chose that year. 2009 certainly was a doozy on that front! I trained longer and harder than I ever thought possible for the Vineman half iron. I now actually like to swim bike AND run. I have met some amazing people along the way and so happy to have made so many tri friends. Living in this area, you are certainly exposed to some hardcore athletic people. I became more aware of that as I was watching tv and two triathlons were recently televised on network tv and on both of those I actually knew people on those shows. I am so lucky to be exposed to all of this and to continue to be able to participate in these sports and fundraising. Perhaps the best part of all is inspiring other people to feel that they can do the same. THat is the icing on the cake that a stupid shmuck like myself can make people feel like they can do anything. I do have to say I was pretty moved while watching ironman this year and actually contemplated that for myself, but fortunately 2010 means 6 weddings which we have to travel for so training would be null, but I may add another half iroman to my list for 2010.
-I got to travel to Cabo and vegas a few times for fun and Bri and I sort of got a mini honeymoon out of that but we are going to keep making excuses to get away for a "honeymoon" since being away with 80 family members for your wedding does not equate a "honeymoon."
-raised a ton of money, got into really good shape and completed a half ironman!
-I turned 3o and had a fantastic time drinking way too much, acting really stupid and dressing like an idiot!
-I got to see the Ellen show AND will be on a wipeout episode this summer!
-We travelled home to Boston a ton which makes living so far away that much more bearable. It really isn't that far. I was able to do a few impromptu visits for fun, and a few for some not so fun stuff.
-This year I had to say goodbye to Nana who I miss every single day. I was so lucky to be so close to my grandparents, it was such a gift to be able to be a part of the good bad and the ugly times with them. Family dynamics change more and more for me but the best part nowadays is the neices and nephews and all the new little ones to focus on.
-I also had to say goodbye to a friend Connie who loved reading this blog and whom I hope I can continue to amuse. It was a gift to be able to be part of her life and that I was able to share some time with her before she passed. It has also been a gift to be able to support her daughters, and my friends through this process that is really never ending. I did not have anyone in my immediate life that had been through the loss of a parent (at the time) which is why the Team in Training means so much to me. THrough that I met Julie and Ursula andmany more who I felt instantly connected to because of this disesase.
-The highs certainly do outweigh those lows. We were able to purchase a "real bike" a harley for my dads 60th. No suprise there that he retired shortly after. I am so lucky to have had so many visits from my dad and apple this year and many friends.
-Work has been another gift and I am so lucky to be surrounded by friends every day at work. I love the kids I work with and am so inspired by their determination and spirit, even if they are beating the bag out of me, humping me, or yelling exploitives at me! Its all in good fun and I love what I do and how many people can honestly say that?
-I am so happy to have Brian join me in 2010's endurance event and so proud of his accomplishments so far (like already losing 25 pounds without even trying!!) I hope we can raise more money than last year! We will continue to be inspired by those we train for and with and are looking forward to our friend Keri to say she is cancer free in 2010. That will be a great gift!
Everyday is a gift and noone knows that like us! We look forward to all that 2010 has to bring and know that Hawaii will be on the top of that list!

Speaking of Hawaii, there is an anonmymous donor that is doubling all donations up until the 31st for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. People are so generous despite "these hard economic times."

Take advantage of that and a tax deductible donation before the years end by donating to our cause!

Our best to you and yours this new year! We will be celebrating once again at the Rose Bowl with our friends!!! Looking forward to all that is in store for us and for 2010's highs!!!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

coast to coast

This week was quite a whirl wind per usual. Going home for the holidays feels more like being pimped out like a two dollar whore. In good travelling fashion I was sick the entire week which made travelling really fun and seriously cut into my plans. I guess you might as well be the person coughing the entire time on the plane rather than giving dirty looks to the "a-hole" who gets on a plane sick. Anyway I figured a quick recap with pictures would do more justice than my banter.

Flew in Saturday night right before Boston got about a foot of snow dumped on them. Fortunately I did not dig out our winter gear until AFTER my dad and apple shoveled.....hehe
My wonderful husband bought me two tickets to the New Kids concert and I had SO MUCH FUN! I did more damage to my throat but got nice and drunk with Kyla who hadnt seen them since she was 12. Lets just say, they still got it!


We sucked it up during the storm and went to the gym. This was the same day that my cough emerged. Really fun to swim while not being able to breathe!!!
I had a sleepover with Elizabeth and taught her to pleaye(not sure how the hell you spell that but it is a ballet move). She was way fun and we were surrounded by cute kids all week and no we still don't want any, but thanks for asking!!! Oh and I taught elizabeth to say "I need palm trees in my life" in the hopes that mom and dad or papa will take her to visit me soon.

Went to see santa and this dude seriously had me fooled.

Went to disney on ice with papa! I think I was just as mesmerized as she was.

Flew back through LA. The only thing that I said would make having to drive to and from LA besides saving a ton of money, was if we saw a famous person. As we were waiting for our bags Bri says "don't look now" which to me meant "SOMEONE FAMOUS DONT BE OBVIOUS. OH MY GOD WHO IS IT JT? DEBBIE? BRIT BRIT?" but was Toby from the show The Office. Still a fun thing but not as exciting as the others. Of course I had to go up to him. I think it is important to go up to famous people and tell them who they are in case they forgot "hey you're toby"
That was fun.

Now I continue to hack up lungs. I think I peed myself from coughing so hard at least 10 times this week and continue to do so. I finally went to the dr and he said its likely a bad chest cold that is triggering asthma. I have not had to use an inhaler in about 10 years and I am praying it does not spark a recurrence of asthma like when I was young. I am taking hits from the inhaler and hoping it helps. If it doesn't help in a few days I think they will put me on antibiotics. I went running sand intervals with the team since I only squeaked out a swim and a bike ride at the gym this week. It was hard. Turns out its kind of important to be able to breathe in order to run. I took it easy and tried not to talk too much. Some dumbass smartalleks were teasing me by running behind me mocking me. I told them I had a taser and wasnt afraid to use it. That was fun.
Our friends are in town for the rosebowl so we are going to be touring around sd this week! Yay to visitors! Next year I think we will petition early for christmas visitors. I must say it was quite nice to come home to 70 degree weather.

Happy belated Merry Christmas to all!!

Friday, December 18, 2009

big shoes to fill

This week was long and hard but oh so worth it. Workouts whatever whatever we swam we biked we ran. School was where it was at. Thursday was our holiday show and I was the emcee for the second year running. I killed it, had the crowd laughing, crying, ok maybe not but it was super fun. I mean I got the crowd to do the wave. YOu have to be creative when you have hundreds of special needs kids (with serious behaviors might I add) all up on a stage to perform. They were so impressive and it was just so special to be a part of it and to see how happy their parents are. It is so difficult for them with kids who are "special" but during the show they are just like any other kid doing a show and they shined like the super stars that they are!

Like Thursday wasn't long enough with the show (we set the place up, decorate, move heavy things like treadmills, set up tables and chairs the list goes on) I also got a cold this week. Fun!
Today I was the school elf because the usual elf (who is short and super cute) called out sick so I was filling the elf shoes. It was soooooooo fun. Only a few kids tried to attack santa, and only one ran from him screaming. It was just hilarious to see the kids get all excited. What a fun job. After that we continued to spread the holiday cheer by putting together the food/toy drive boxes for the children at our school who really need the help. Such a special place to put all of this together and I am just lucky to be a part of it. I mean comeon, I get to dress up like a fool and pretend that I am a stand up comedian AND get paid for it! Gotta love it.

We are soooooooooo looking forward to travelling back to Boston for the Arctic Blast/BLizzard! Should make for some interesting travel stories!

Monday, December 14, 2009

roger rabbit

Last week was a bit of a wash for working out. I suffered it out on the trainer on thursday and the only good thing about waking up at 5am was knowing i had an episode of Glee to watch. Its a good thing I did a morning workout cause by each night I was totally assed out so I was in bed pretty early all week and missed a few workouts. I must have had a little bug coming on cause Friday just around time for our work luncheon I got pretty sick to my stomach. I did decide to drink some ginger based alcoholic beverages, but no such luck, I still felt like puking. I hung around long enough to dominate on the pool table but made it home early enough to practice my tire changing skills on the bike.

Saturday morning was supposed to be a tire changing clinic and Torrey Pines hill repeats. We only got around to the tire changing (took about 3 hours) in the pouring rain before our coach decided that hill repeats would not be wise in the inclement weather. THANK GOD cause I puked in my mouth all morning and felt like death warmed over. I did however learn how to change my tire. I have always known, but it usually involves alot of swearing, really dirty hands and broken nails. I am a frickin pro now!

We pretty much prepared for our team party for Sunday. I managed to get on the trainer a bit and decided to take it easy later on when some teammates met me at the house to run the lagoon. I walked it with one of my mentees and his wife and made belle come along. Needless to say we were covered in mud but had i ran I would have been suffering.

The party was a great time. Tons of food. I actually felt kind of jiggly today, thats not good. Must stop eating every sweet in front of me. I learned how to do the backwards running man (video to come), it kind of looked like a messed up roger rabbit but i was impressed with my skills, oh and got slightly buzzed which was really fun. It was a super late night for me though (10pm...ouch) so I am so very tired today.

Gotta suck it up and get into the pool tonight. No slacking this week cause next week we are home!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

its what janet does

Sand intervals. Mighty interesting way to spend a blustery cold tuesday evening. We met the team at Mission Beach and warmed up a bit and ran about a mile. This interval session was "lavaman specific" because the last mile is on sand. Not sure if you have ever run in sand? but its hard, and your heart rate hits the roof, and it hurts your legs, but it was fun!

We would run on the boardwalk for recovery, but then hop onto the sand til the next opening. I will not mention what bri did when he jammed his knee in the sand, oh okay he threw his water bottle. It was fun trying to explain to our teammates that when he hurts himself it is not okay to speak to him for at least a few minutes. I now just wait til he starts talking. Stupid knees. ANyway he powered through and made it almost the whole run. We did about 5.5 miles of sprinting in the sand and recovering by jogging on the pavement.

Perhaps the highlight was running with my new tri friend M.A. He completes me and let me tell you why. HE KNOWS DEBBIE GIBSON!! I knew I liked this kid! Oh and he has met Ms Jackson a few times and just danced for her in a flash mob at the AMA's. It was meant to be people. We are hosting a team party at our house this weekend and I promised to adorn the purple suit and dance to electric youth as long as he videod and promised to send to DG. She is soooooo going to want to hang out with me. I am such a good time.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009


In an effort to explain how our bikeride went on Sunday I would like to explain a little something and give some background. Okay so there is a term my old neighbors and I termed a few years back..."GFY. "This stands for "Go F*#* Yourself." This came up once when I was aggravated with my dear husband and instead of saying the whole phrase decided to give it an abbreviation.Making it less offensive and more playful but still helping me feel like I did something naughty. Lets face it, sometimes you just need to tell someone to GFY.

Saturday our team did a bunch of intervals and since we did not get much mileage in I decided to put together a ride to do around our new neighborhood. WELL lets just say I did not check out the elevation, and I did not factor in that we are at the very beginning of our training still. Anyhoo Bri did great, but at one point flew by me on a steep downhill and did not give me the bike etiquette of "ON YOUR LEFT" to let me know. Instead he scared the shit out of me and I then retorted with "thanks for the heads up!" He retorted with "I SAID IT JODES!" Well that is the hard thing about biking. You see the wind is a factor and unless you yell you can't hear shit. So don't bother talking to me on the bike cause I can't hear you. Which brings me back to the GFY.

Since I knew he would not hear me I threw out a few GFY's and maybe a "DICK" or two. Its all in good fun. I mean lets face it, we were on a 2.5 hour ride that I projected to be about an hour. I had a raging headache and not enough fluids. Oh AND I was hungry. A real recipe for disaster. I got us lost a whole bunch of times and actually had to clip out of my pedals once to walk up a hill. I have not done that since I started biking. In our defense it was at the end of our hellish ride and we still had our neighborhood of hills to get up. Needless to say we both collapsed to the floor when we got home and did not get up for a very long time despite having to pee for the previous 2.5 hours.

Oh speaking of gfy's I would also like to give major props to the behind the back flipping of the bird. I do not like conflict but sometimes I like to swear. So whats a girl to do? Flip people off behind their back. Do it with both hands at the same time and I swear it will make you feel SOOOO much better. I asked some other people how they felt about it and I think I started a new fad of the btb birds (thats behind the back).

Well we are off for sand intervals tonight. Ironic that we are doing this on the biggest loser finale night!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


I had a hilarious day at work in which I felt like I was at an improv session. We are being sex ed trained and while this is fantastically useful for us and our population and keeping them safe and helping them to build relationships, it ALSO brings me back to my immature days. I take the class with two of the most twisted individuals I know and we did not hold anything back today. We had to pretend that we were the possible students or "consumers" that we would run this class with. Which meant lots of swearing, talk about penis, and me betting one of the teachers 5 bucks that he would not hump someone/thing by the end of the day (we take this class with a bunch of other people as well). It was fun we'll put it that way.

During that class I realized I had dog poop all down my shirt (one of the teachers brought her dog and I had him on my lap). That was awesome. Then I had to run out of work because I thought I was late for my dentist appointment. Ran into whole foods to grab some soup so that I would not starve as it was already 2. Literally shove it down my throat in the car, spill carrot soup (yes it stains) all down my front and on car seat etc. Get into the office in which the receptionist says "you do know you're an hour early?" Yeah lady, I look all disheveled for NO REASON, I RAN HERE just so I would be an HOUR EARLY! I called myself a jackass and went back out to the car to see if there was anything else to eat and to not sit there and be judged by the receptionists. I had the car radio on so I could listen to "santa baby" for like the 10th time today when all of a sudden my car shut down. I had killed my battery. Had to go back into the office that already thinks i am an idiot and ask if they had jumpers. A wonderful young college student rose to the occasion and helped me out. I did not even know how to open the front hood of the car. Turns out VW's are a bit diff looking and I could not even find the battery. The young man came to my rescue yet again. Before I knew it the hour went by and I was in the chair getting my invisalign consult. I thought it would cost like a grand,, maybe 1500??? NOT SO MUCH!! They pretty much convince me that I need it and that it will help with the jaw pain i am having. THEN I was asked to sit in a room much like a car dealership and they told me it was 5000....dollars. I quickly retorted with "do you even know what kind of tri bike I could get for that?" and then "if we are talking cosmetics, I would MUCH rather put this towards a boob job." I did not get a laugh. I will have to think about this. If it is merely for the look I could care less, but if it can possibly help the TMJ issue I would consider it but that is ALOT of money.

On the training front we had a tempo run last night. Turns out if you are tall or have long legs your "pendulum" is longer and therefore you are slower and have a slower cadence. TOTALLY makes sense why shorter people can absolutely smoke my ass! Anyways it was quite fun because there were two other girls, AND they were younger than me, AND they are super fun that are my exact same pace. SOO we got to do our 1000 m intervals at our 10K pace minus a few together!! Apparently the coach thinks we botched our mile time trial because we should not have been talking so much. Will have to learn not to talk when we run past him. We kept being referred to as "charlie's angels" so of course I kept throwing the gun pose up and a few hair tosses. We ran at basically a 9 -930 minute mile pace. It was fun. I like tracks

Tonight we are off to the pool!

Monday, November 30, 2009

the week in pics

Thanksgiving week in pictures:

Belle stood by Papa's pocket most of the week and has probably gained 10 pounds in pupperoni's. Santa Ana's were here at the beginning of their trip which meant warm beach weather.
Bri's smoked turkey. She was delicious!

Papa taught the dog to climb trees, because she needs to do that right? (notice the pupperoni's on the tree)

We FINALLY convinced my dad to try sushi. After many bad looks at us he agreed and I nearly peed myself watching him and apple attempt to use chopsticks.

Apple had to use a fork, but she ate it!!

Bri and I bought one of the biggest trees we could fit on the car. A 9 footer. Luckily my dad was here to help put it up for more comical entertainment. Typically this involves much swearing, it was at an all time low....BOOOOOOOOOO!
We did a bunch of workouts this week, swam on Friday, ran on Saturday because it was monsooning here and rained for the first time in over 160 days! Oh and it was windy as hell so our ride was changed to a run through the lagoon. Bri ran 5 miles with me and therefore could not walk on Sunday. I went to the bike ride along the bike path with my team. Something one should not do....ride up an on ramp to the I-5 thinking it was the parking lot. .....OOPS! SUCH an airhead sometimes!
On a more serious note, today was a very difficult day at school. A teacher passed away in her sleep Sunday morning. I feel so badly for her family knowing how close she was to her daughter and especially for those at school who were extremely close to her. You just never know how much time you have here. My heart goes out to her friends and family members.

oh I almost forgot. I decided to make the dog wear my goggles for our fundraising letters/holiday cards which will be going out this week. But hey bri wouldn't let me buy her the super cute $60 red holiday dress I saw at the store.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

negative nelly

negative nelly much?! So I met my friend LG at the pilates studio at 6am thinking i'd get a good workout in since dad and apple are here for the week. Welllllll lets just say I was not super positive. The workout is hard, its different everytime which is a great thing, but I went sour at the end. It was aggravating that the instructor who is super sweet and helpful HAD to help me for just about every move. I was all done and so were my abs. At the end it was like a verbal diarrhea "I hate this, I hate everything about this. This is too hard. I am not made for this. This sucks" you get the picture. Pretty sure I said it all and felt so bad about it after as the sweet instructor tried to lift my ego a bit and tell me I just needed to go to the technique class to learn the correct ways to doing some of the tougher moves. I just need a body transplant honey! I seriously spend the whole 45 minutes trying not to fall off the machine and breaking my neck.

Onto better things its Thanksgiving! AND I have family here! AND we all went out and bought a bunch of pies without telling the other and currently average one whole pie per person!!!!

Gotta squeak in some workouts this week but lets face it, its all about eating and wearing elastic waist pants. Luckily the Santa ana winds are here which means unseasonably warm weather so we are off for some fun in the sun!!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

A new reason

Every year when I sign up for a new event with the LLS I know that I am going to meet even more people with the disease. What I don't expect is to have friends be diagnosed. This year our fight against this disease is even more personal. Our friend Keri from Boston, whom has been Bri's co worker/friend for years was recently diagnosed with b-cell lymphoma. This type affects mostly women in their 30's. How many 30 year old women do you know? The face of leukemia and lymphoma is not just the little kids, its your friend, your sister, your wife, your gf, your cousin, your coworker, your aunt, your neice and the list goes on... Keri is keeping an extremely positive outlook and attitude towards this and has already started treatment. I hope and pray that around the same time we are crossing the finish line in Hawaii that she is crossing her finish line and will be cancer free. I know that her journey with this disease will fuel our desire to train and fundraise so that this disease will be DUNZO!

If you want to do something about it. Go to our fundraising page and make a donation:

We also have a fundraising portal set up. This means that anytime you do online shopping you can go directly through our portal and find pretty much anything you are looking for and each site offers a certain percentage that goes directly to our fundraising.

On the training front things were pretty quite, a few early morning rises to get on the bike. Yesterdays training was all about safety on the roads so we practiced that going back and forth on the quiet roads before our ride next weekend along the coast. Today we will be running the trails at our house and preparing for the arrival of Al and Apple for thanksgiving week!!!! Which also means I gotta get some shit done around the house! Happy Sunday!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

TT Tuesday

Busy busy week we are back in action baby. Monday night we had our first swim. It is definately getting cold at night and although the water was warm it was frickin freezing getting out of that pool. We did some time trials and gosh darnit I am frigin slow at swimming. Can only get faster from here on out. I did a 2 minute 100 yards. Not only that but I felt like I was dying. I was swallowing the water from Bri's wake but still. We have to cover the pool up when we are done which takes about 20 minutes and SUCKS. I try the whole time to not end up underneath the covers where I will die of a panic attack. Somehow I always end up on one end by myself while 6 people pull from the other end. I was spent after the workout and then the frigin pool covers so I could not even get out of the pool (its really high up) so I had to have to guys pull my arms up (yes I think bri was already in the showers at this point..along with most of the team argh!) and I got pool rash all along my stomach...AWESOME! We went out for some team bonding and its going to be a great training season.

Tonight was another time trial at the track. We met up and had to set up a few lights since it was pitch black at the track. Always fun. We did some warm ups about two miles or so and then did some ab workouts, then we were all lined up and off and running. Fortunately I had done a bunch of track workouts last season so I can kind of gage my energy so that I can pull off a negative split and basically go balls out the last few laps. I always like to finish a run or race or whatever really strong so that I feel competitive for at least a few minutes. Its fun even if you get passed the whole race if you do that you will no doubt finally get the chance to pass some other people. I got in the zone and ran my buns off and did a mile in about 8:50 mile pace. COach will do some crazy data collection and project what our 10k 5K and various other K's are for training purposes. Already learning quite a bit this year and given the fact that it is a shorter distance I am really going to try to push my limits and "race" and not just "finish" like all my other previous races.

The rest of the week is still kind of up in the air for me. BUt it will no doubt involve some form of swim, bike, run, yoga or pilates and htat just about covers it!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Schooled yet again

Well smack my ass and call me judy cause Brian whooped my apple bum today! Last week I rode behind him on the bike, and that was okay. I know the last few times we swam he was faster (although I am sure I could go longer). And today the one part of the tri I thought I would have on him due to his bone on bone knee situation, the run, he again was in front of me most of the time. Granted I am trying to work on my base building and staying below 75% of my heart rate which means oh so very slow, but he was running around a 10-11 minute mile. Well okay then! We did a bit of a run walk because he was dressed rather warm for the hot sunny day it turned out to be. I better hope that his age group starts way behind me the day of the race because it would be amazing to finish together. There are a bunch of couples on the team which leads me to think that those who "tri" together stay together,,,,hahah GAY!!(and i do not mean that in an offensive way). It was pretty awesome to run with him today though, hard to believe that after I dont even know how many years, four maybe, that we have never gone out on a run before. Oh how times are a changing!!

If you would like to donate to my cause please visit the webpage:

I also am trying to create my webpage on the TNT portal. What this means is that if you do any online shopping, you go through my portal and anywhere from 5-30% of that goes directly to my webpage for fundraising at no extra cost to you! They are even adding some restaurants to this as well. What better way to stay out of the malls and do some online shopping and help raise money towards a cure! Will share that with you as soon as its up and running!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

playing catch up

Okay trying to play a little catch up here. We moved to our new digs this weekend. Here are some pics!

and yes we realize how small the tv looks in this giant room, I am lobbying for a 60 inch.

The TNT kick off was last night and it is going to be a great group of people. It is just amazing that there are 4 honored teammates on the team who either have or have had a blood cancer, and are training along with us for Lavaman. I will make sure never to complain in front of them.
Since we had today off Bri and I set out for our first bike ride together. We fortunately live about 2 miles from the 101 which is some of the best biking around. We set out for an easy 12 or so miles. Bri was looking strong and was totally acting like he knew IT ALL. Good luck to his mentor, I was just trying to keep him from ending up on someones windshield but he apparently "learned it all in gym class" or some shit like that. It was a beautiful ride but we must remember in the future that the 2 miles back to our house from the 1o1 are some INTENSE hills. We are certainly going to get some good hill training done in this neighborhood.
We are loving north county so far and have already tried out a few restaurants in the area. Plenty of space for visitors!
We officially begin training this Saturday and lets just say I am a wee bit out of shape. I went to a 6am pilates class tuesday morning and I have never ever shaken like that in my life. It was slightly embarassing but more amazing to me. I felt like I had some control but then I would look at my legs and they were quivering. It was one of the strangest feelings I have ever had while working out. Not sure if it was the early morning, dehydration or just being totally out of shape that did it to me. Pilates Sculpt is now offering two morning sessions which will be great for me so I can still work it into my schedule once the tri training starts. I also have to incorporate yoga into the schedule. I had to go back to the ENT this week for him to once again tell me that i am "stressed." This so called "stress" gave me a giant ulcer on my tongue (yes it felt wonderful and was tons of fun to speak and eat all week) and my TMJ to spike up again. Sooooooooo I have to be better about being proactive on the yoga and what not because I dont even know i'm stressed until my body completely breaks down.
Thats it for now! Happy Veterans Day!! And Happy 58th (yes i calculated it was 57 and my dad called to inform me that my math skills sucked)birthday to my mom!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

11/11 make a wish

Happy Birthday to my mom! In honor of her I would love to raise a bunch of money for this years event, the Lavaman triathlon in Hawaii.

Please visit my site to read this years letter and possibly be my first donation of this season!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Week 1 on the ranch

Last chance workout! Get those hands OFF the goddamn treadmill!!!!!!!
Fatty McButterpants week 1 on the ranch

I tried to flare my nostrils as much as possible and yelled alot. Brian cried alot

"Unless you faint, puke or DIE I DON'T CARE KEEP GOING!!" Jillian the trainer

Friday, October 30, 2009

oh don't EVEN

So when this broad gets hungry she gets crazy. I am pretty sure I will find out one of these days that I am diabetic because I seriously lose my shit when hungry. Okay just had to preface this post with that lil tid bit of info. Onto the good stuff.

We went to Lowes to pick out some paint for our new house, and I was already complaining about how hungry I was an hour before we left. The guy took FOREVER to fill our paint and then some (oh and Bri decided that he would do the self check out which is NEVER a good idea). At this point I was in the car with the dog because she was bored and I needed to sit down and play bubble burst on my phone. Anyways we decided that it was an In-N-Out burger kind of night. I took a few wrong turns which prolonged this excurstion even further.

The dog at this point is whining with that "I am going to poop myself" kind of whine. Bri decided he would see if she had to go and I was waiting in line at In-n-out. All of a sudden I hear yelling, I look and Bri is walking back with the dog and says "hold on I am going to go kick the shit out of those guys." Instead of saying "no dear dont do that" I start yelling (they were making fun of him and the dog NOT OKAY). I dropped a good "F-You you F-in A-holes" (oh did i mention it was 4 punk guys in the car?) Oh and I was giving them the finger, and I was giving it real hard. I felt so tough. They continued taunting from their truck and drove off ( clearly they were intimidated). I really wanted to punch someone I am not gonna lie. We high fived and had a good laugh until I thought "oh geesh what if they are waiting around the corner? there are only two of us?" oh well! I guess I was still frazzled cause I pulled out into oncoming traffic and nearly gave us all a heart attack.

Needless to say there are going to be a few drinks ingested tonight.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Its all about the p job (parking job)

So yesterday was bike training at my coaches house with all the other mentors for this seasons Lavaman. I learned quite a bit and off we went to Fiesta Island so coach could watch us and make sure we were practicing good form so we can pass it on to our duckies. I feel like I am riding a new bike after my last bike fit. Its going to take some getting used to but it feels ok. My only problem are my new shoes, if it weren't for the fact that I spent a good chunk of change on them I would just return them. My coach adjusted them and I am going to try them out tomorrow on my trainer. My handlebars were also flipped so now I lean alot more and there is way more pressure on my neck and shoulders, that could be fun.
In other news, Bri went out for his first bikeride on the new bike with the clip pedals. I so wish I were there because I was expecting him to fall on his ass much like I did the first time I attempted (although I tried in the kichen and bit it into the table while still clipped in...lots of bruises) but he went alone and did not have any issues. Its more fun when you fall. Nonetheless I am proud of him for getting out there alone. GOtta get him some sneakers and heart rate monitor so he can start getting on the running or walking or whatever he is most comfortable doing.
This morning I drove to meet my group at the Marian Bear state park which is in La Jolla and its got a bunch of great running trails and lots of loose rock which is similar to what we will run on in Hawaii. I noticed that other mentors were emailing about "be careful how you park" and I just thought they must really enforce where you park. Pulling up I was careful to make sure I was not illegally parking. Come to find out this spot is the hotbed for gay porn. Yup apparently lots of the outdoor shots are filmed here, and many times you will run into a scene, literally. Sooooo due to that it is also a big meetup. If you park backed in that apparently means you want it in the back as well. If you park sideways well you are up for anything with anyone. THere were actually people waiting in their cars. Safe to say I will NEVER run there alone. It was a great trail run though.
Coach taught me a bit about heart rate training which I want to give a shot. This means that I have to stay under 75% of my maximum heart rate. THIS IS HARD!!! The idea is that over time if you adhere to this, your pace will increase and your heart rate stays the same. Essentially you will start to run faster but your body is working at a pace that is easy and more importnatly a pace that you can still digest at. Super important for long races, not crazy important for an olympic distance but I really want to try it. This means that I am pretty much at a shuffle, like I should just walk because that is how fast I am moving. I am going to try to be patient and do this and hope that it works out for me in the end.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

totally faking it

Well my next TNT event has unofficially officially begun. Oh boy!! I am mentoring this season which means I will have about 5-10 individuals that I will take under my wing and try to get them to the finish line in good spirits, meeting all their personal and fundraising goals. I am also heading up the "social committee" for the team. I felt like it took way to far into the season for team bonding so I want to jumpstart it right away, which means bri best fire up that grill!

We had a mentor meeting and although it was looooooooooong I am certainly going to learn quite a bit from my new coach and am hoping to get more info about heart rate training. I typically rode towards the middle to end of the group last year but now that I am mentoring I will likely be staying with my slowest participant. I know how shitty it was to feel totally alone on the courses, thinking I was lost, feeling like I was the slowest person on earth, and at times crying thinking "why why why?!" (refer back to my mt laguna ride). THe thing is, I rode most of the actual tri by myself as well. Well besides the thousands of people passing me trying to pump me up. My coach asked what my favorite sport of all 3 was. I honestly could not pick one. Not because I suck at all, not because I succeed at all, but because I really just dont mind any of them. The real challenge this season will be the open water swims that begin in the winter. Even though it is cali, the water gets "colder than a witches tit" (one of betty lou's favorite lines" and lets face it people that is when sharks like to infest the waters here. Since I will have little duckies looking to me for advice I am going to have to TOTALLY FAKE IT!!! I am going to fake it harder than sally. Like I may need to change my wetsuit after these swims. THe fun part will be convincing Bri to come as well (he has a fear of dying in open water...we are a good time).

THe thing is, even though I worked my butt off, I know there were areas of the tri that I slacked on last season. I do not intend on slacking whatsoever because I need to set an example and be a role model for the little duckies. I am also going to have to get better at tire changing because if I am going to be sweeping alot of the rides that means I will have to help all the suckers who pop a tire. This is going to make for some very long saturdays if they are depending on me!!

THe training schedule looks fun and our new digs are going to be AWESOME for training. I can probably get in a good week bike workout since we live along some great routes and I can try to get out of work at a decent time to get some daylight. I also found a great pool that opens at 5am so we can get some early morning swims in there. I am just really hoping that I can continue to squeeze the pilates and yoga in at least once a week with training because I never thought i'd say it but I really love both of them.

Monday, October 19, 2009



What it is: a painful reaction that occurs when one squeezes 30 limes to make margaritas and combines that with sunshine

The result: a painful blistering on the hands that looks like 3rd degree burns, bright red and totally gross

Who has it? My hubs.

I have heard of this before from bartenders but man oh man it is gross and looks rather painful.

On a good note we are moving!!! Since I am totally sick of tripping over stuff in our too small of a house we finaly found some new digs that we are both psyched about. We passed up a panoramic ocean view place in which the woman even knocked down the price by 300 so that we would take it (we are pretty awesome so everyone wants us...duh!) and we went with another house that is a bit more practical for us. and by us I mean the puppy! Great yard, amazing view of a lagoon and canyons and so totally serene. We have some big plans, like flat screens outside and all kinds of crazy shit. I think i now even have space for a workout ROOM!!!! major shopping sprees in my future!!!!!!!! oh how i miss the christmas tree shop!!!

Friday, October 16, 2009

alot of alots

Well there is not much I can say about my debut on wipeout because I could be sued for saying too much. I will say this. It was by far one of the most fun days of my life. It was a group of 22 completely unique individuals that got to spend a whole lot of time sitting around together.
I had a blast and will hopefully get some good face time when it airs in the summer. I surely gave them plenty of footage to work with.
I can tell you this:
lots of people finished the course and puked...LOTS
I did not puke.
I fell ALOT, like ALOT ALOT
the course is ALOT harder than it looks
being stuck in mud is not fun, and eating that mud is even less fun, coughing up the mud for the night is super unfun
At one point i thought my eye was bleeding
I fell more times than one could even count
I felt like a bobble head and today cannot move my neck
one of the producers referred to me as "miss congeniality" but having a good personality does NOT help you on the balls AT ALL!
To top the day off after all of the muck and mud (shout out franko) I left to meet my most super wonderful friend LG who drove up to LA with me to hang out alone all day so that I would not have to drive home. (THANKS LIS!!) So as I was finally clean at the end of the day and i walked to the car and completely fell into mud. It was brutal.
After 3 showers I am still finding gravel and other condiments in crevices of my body.

Sorry to say I will have to wait til Summer to see my athletic endeavors on the big red balls. I can only imagine what the commentators will be saying.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Onyx is craaaaaaaaazay

I am sorry to say that my friend Connie lost her battle with myeloma October 10th. She was an amazing woman, mother, friend, sister, and most importantly grandmother to the gracefully amazing Grace. I pray that they will continue to find ways to be close to her. Perhaps her way of saying hello today was when my wonderful husband tossed a dog toy to the dog and knocked over the lenox candle holder that was a wedding gift from Connie. It shattered all over the place and all I could do was laugh because I know it was her way of saying hello. Now she is happy and surrounded by all those who went before her. She was a big supporter of me and she was my motivation for my athletic endeavors and she will no doubt remain to be a major motivator.
Now I am sure you may be wondering who that goddess with the black hair is....its Onyx. Onyx was my alias in Vegas this past weekend. We went to meet up with some friends and Ally aka "Britney" (see her fake pony) talked me into a wig and it was too funny to pass up. I have already worn it to school and tried to freak out some of the kids. The women selling this "totally real looking wig" told me these things:
- it is half "humen" hair (it actually said that one the bag it came in)
- "you could be a victorias secret model with this for halloween, yup all you need are the wings" (yeah honey thats ALL I need!!!!)
- you just need some dark eye make up and you can work this
-this wig is worth $300 ( I got it for 80 and swear i saw the same one in walgreens later that night for 10)
It was a fun weekend in Vegas. THe Merrill's carried every craps table we hit. Speaking of hitting, it looked like Bri got in a fight but really his face fought the bedside table. Well his nose really. Very funny for me, not so funny for him!

Now onto Wipeout. I picked up some pieces for the ensemble. I leave Wednesday night with my super friend LG who is driving up with me to LA and staying in the hotel since I have to be at the set at 6am. To top it off she can't even go wtih me so she is going to wait around all day to make sure I don't break something. What a gal!!! So I am super psyched for that!!!!! Big red balls here I come!!!
I have done nothing athletic besides attend yoga in an attempt to "sweat vegas out of me" and it worked. A successful yoga session minus me nailing a girl in the head with my foot. Really though, these mats are not long enough for me and my long ass legs and this chick was all up on my grill.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Who is it gonna be?

I have pretty much sucked this week. My trip to Boston was great. Fortunately I was able to see Connie while she was still feeling pretty strong from her hospital visit. I was able to find a charm that a friend of mine gave to me at my moms funeral. It is a jewish proverb (love the jews they are so clever, go JC) the mizpah and reads "lord watch between me and thee while we are absent from one another." It is kind of like a best friends charm in which it is cut in half. So the idea is you both wear a half of it. I got a few sets for Julie, her daughter and her sister and mother. That charm brought me some peace with the loss of my mother and hopefully will always be a reminder for them and especially Julie's daughter that she is never far from her nana. I wish I could still be there with them especially during these tough times. I almost cannot wait to start training for my next TNT event so I can get fundraising again because this whole cancer thing is really for the birds if you ask me. So sick of it.

While home I decided to do a run around "the river" and it is certainly one of my favorite spots. I borrowed some running attire from Apple and headed out and was not alone because it was the Breast Cancer walk so there was plenty of people watching. I did around 8 miles or so but it was a rather sluggish run.

I was also able to visit with my sweet neice Elizabeth who is just so damn funny I can't even stand it. Boy does she love her "jojo" and that feeling is certainly mutual. There were lots of games of hide n seek, snuggle time, and the game where Elizabeth jumps on me over and over until my knees are almost broken. I can't wait for this Christmas when all the neices and nephews will really really get it.

Okay now for my flight home....boy that was fun. Well the fun part was that I ended up knowing 3 people on the flight, and two of our new friends ended up in the same aisle so we all sat together. GOod thing because our direct flight ended up being not so direct. We ran out of gas and had to stop somewhere in the middle of the country. Sat a while, got to SD and they had no gate for us. I pretty much had doritos and that was it for about 15 hours. I need to eat every 3 hours so that was interesting. Jetblue provided us a $25 voucher,,,,wow thanks.

I must have picked something up on the flight, or from one of the many students at school whose parents decided to send them in despite teh fact that they were violently ill. I have had a form of the stomach bug all frigin week. I have not been able to eat anything without nasty effects since Tuesday. On Wednesday I had to drive up to LA for my physical for Wipeout, that was interesting. I had to stop twice but I will spare you the details of those events. I passed my physical and am cleared for the taping of the show this Thursday. Hopefully I can hold down/in some food so that I can kick some ass on the show and win me some 50K. Or at least not look like death warmed over on national television.
I still have to pick out my outfit for the show and I need a duplicate of my outfit since we tape multiple obstacles in one day. Still not decided but I think a trip to American Apparel should clear that up.

We are off for Las Vegas tonight which I am sort of dreading ( i know i know), and believe me vegas is one of my favorite places on earth where gambling and heavy drinking is a give in. But given my status the past few days I know it will not be a true vegas experience for me. I will do my damndest though to make it through and feed the fish on the craps tables. I am sure this post will follow with inappropriate pictures of me at ridiculous hours of the night. Well thats what the healthy jody would be doing. Only time can tell who will show up this weekend?

Thursday, October 1, 2009

suck it cancer

Although I live thousands of miles away from the place I call home, I really have not felt very far because I can get home in an instant. Which is what I am doing this weekend. One of my number one honored heroes Connie is nearing the end of her battle with multiple myeloma. I had the honor of meeting her through her daughter Julie while training with the TEAM in 2004. We were both training for our first Boston Marathon with the Leukemia Society and were instantly bonded not only through running (we were the same slow poke pace) but because she was just beginning the journey with her mother and her diagnosis. I can recall feeling like I didn't want to tell her the truth because I was afraid to scare her with my own mothers experience. I never had to hold anything back because she was just there for me always and I hope I have always been there for her. Connie has kept me believing that living with myeloma does not have to be all bad like I remembered it with my own mother. She was able to live life for 5 plus years with this disease, as the healthiest sick person I have ever met. Not only that but she was able to see her first granddaughter and bond with her. Unfortunately the disease has reared its ugly head and is taking over the body of a beautiful and strong amazing woman, mother, grandmother and friend. True I am going home to try to lend any support I can do my friends, but also to help feel like maybe there was some reason that I had to go through this before. I know that if the tables were turned and Julie lost her mother first, that she would be beside me to hold my hand, and make me laugh, and possibly yell at crazy people who try to show up at their house to say goodbye. This family is definately one of the stronger ones I have ever met and I admire their ability to speak so freely about death with one another. I think that helps quite a bit to know how their mother feels about the process. It is a very difficult thing when death is pretty much smack dab in your face all day every day for years and years. To live life with that dangling in front of your eyes is a difficult thing to do. They have all battled this together with such "grace" and I truly admire them. I look forward to spending some time with them and to hopefully be a reminder that even after death they can continue to have a relationship with their mother, and that life, although extremely difficult will go on. And one day down the road, they will know why they had to go through this.
And yes, expect another fundraising letter to come soon, because I am pretty pissed that this disease is going to claim yet another amazing woman.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

It's official

There I was at school about to run into a meeting when my phone starts ringing.

"hi jody this is wipeout" (a person not the actual balls calling me)
me-"this better be good news"
"well you tell us, are you available Oct 15th, 19th and November 3rd?"
me- "um yeah"
all along I thought they were doing more interviewing type stuff. Then all of a sudden I realized I was actually going to be on the show!

So apparently they film 3 times. All 24 people go the first day. Then if I don't suck really bad I will make it to the next round. And then if I make it past that I make it to the finals.

Sooooooooooooooooo my strategy. I am going to practice jumping over stuff and will probably let the kids at school punch me instead of evading their swings.
I will probably not cover my eyes in the shower to get used to having crap in my eyes,,,which I hate!
Not sure how to prepare for the spinny things that are inevitable but perhaps I will take some dramamine.
Oh and since I know they are going to call me the "master pee-er" i am going to likely wear a diaper.

Reactions so far:
"You can borrow the diapers from my classroom" undisclosed teacher at my school
"I thought i was f*#*ed up but you are REALLY f&#ed up" Mark Buonomo
"Jody you CANNOT wear a diaper on national TV!" Brian Merrill
"Jody please don't hurt yourself" Tiffany Parrella Crooker

I cannot make any promises

I will have more info after my drug test and physical next week. Lots of LA trips for me in the future!

Sunday, September 27, 2009


Bri has gone and done it. He bought a bike on Friday and shoes and some other stuff. Of course I had to pick up a few things for myself at the bike shop (pink helmet to accentuate the slight pink on my bike & compression socks.) So these socks can be worn during workouts as well as after to aide in recovery. I hav pretty much been wearing them all weekend and I wore them during my soccer game today soooooo we'll see.

I was suffering a lil bit Saturday morning but sucked it up and trecked on over to Coronado to meet up with some friends for my run. I was pretty much struggling, and was finding it hard to keep up for most of the way. Towards the end I started feeling a lil better and ran down onto the beach and decided to run through the soft sand for about a mile. That is some hard shit! My heart rate was high and my pace was LOW but it was beautiful and calming, and its what the navy seals do. So yes what i'm saying is I am kind of just like a navy seal. EXCEPT they do it with a bit more ease and muscle and way more other stuff. I finished my 7 miles and did some sun salutations on the beach and it was great.

We made a trip to north county and took the dog to the Del Mar dog beach and just enjoyed the day. Then last night I went to see Kathy Griffin live! It was pretty hilarious. They were filming a show for bravo and it will air on Nov. 3. I was a bit tired so hopefully they do not catch me while yawning, that would be embarassing. I was in my element there though. I was planning on wearing a shirt that said "fag hag 4 hire" but that foiled so I went dressed normal. It was definately the place to find my gay husband, I really blew it though. No such luck.

Last night was another one of those wild animal kingdom kind of nights here at the merrill casa. The frigin raccoons were going after it all night, screeching and thumping around. I think I slept a whole 3 hours. We had a semi early wake up for the pats game with some friends. Had some yummy eats (bri made a pulled pork, and laura and I made eggs benedict with the pork) YUMMO!! Pats pulled a W but the Petos Locos (my soccer team) not so much. We played the same team we played week one and lost by alot. We only lost by like 7 points this time BUT what I realized (6 games in, i am real quick) is that girls get 2 points for scoring. The opponents have a girl on their team that is big boned (she is big I am trying to be pc and nice) and just hangs in front of the net and shoots the ball in. She actually was sitting on the bench I was going one on one with a guy on their team and she ran off the bench and pretty much right in front of the net without me knowing and would score. THAT was their move, so sneaky and should be illegal but whatever. I am getting a little better each game and it helped to actually have subs today so thatI could push it a little bit. Best part of the game was that I nutmeg'd a guy! I think that is what you call it when you kick the back between the defenders legs. Not sure how I pulled that one off but it felt good, real good. I also got a few headers (who cares that the people going up against me were way shorter). Worst part of the game was getting body slammed by the big boned girl and she literally took my breath away for a little bit. Good times!

Friday, September 25, 2009

the boston in me

I was just remembering a part of my run last night that I failed to mention. I think of this because my rolfer was just in Boston and she said all she wanted was someone to tell her to "go F#@K yourself!" She could not find a single person to do this. That must have been fresh in my mind as I went out for my run.

My house is in a very cute neighborhood, however at the other end of my street it is rather urban and sometimes scary. At one point I hit a light and since there were no cars coming I ran across (too many people in california wait for the signal to cross even when there are NO CARS), all of a sudden a car with some houligans decides it is going to GUN IT for me to teach me a lesson. What did I do? I still ran right in front of him with my nice long middle finger right in his face the whole street while smiling of course. It felt good.

I did run immediately into the supermarket for a few minutes just in case they came back around....i'm tough, but not that tough!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

nose pickah

Today was my 7th session of 10 for my rolfing series. Todays theme was "out of my head" and I certainly was out of my head by the end of the hour. This consisted of Roz releasing my neck muscles, which we do every week so that wasnt so bad. HOWEVER have you ever had someone strongly massage your gums, mouth & jaw?? Given all of my issues this year with my jaw and face problems I was dreading this session yet looking forward to it at the same time. Pain is pretty relative when you know it is going to end. The sensation is almost as if your muscles are actually tearing. She released the muscles from the outside of the face then inside my mouth. When she got to the area of my problems she felt a major blockage and I felt like I had fireworks going off in my head. At first your muscles relax then they almost feel like they are trying to eat the finger that is pushing into the face. It is really nothing that I can explain. It took alot of deep breathing to get through todays session, that is for sure. At the end she stuck her pinky finger pretty much all the way up my nose. Apparently there is like a sphincter kind of thing and if you slowly ease your finger in there, then it allows you up into an area that is great for clearing your head/sinuses. As she was about to do it I opened my eyes saw her with her plastic glove and her finger just hovering and I totally lost it. I mean it is all pretty ridiculous. What I did notice once this was over was I am standing so much taller and straighter than ever before. My shoulders are not so rounded out anymore and I am sure I will continue to notice the differences especially as I continue to practice the yoga and pilates.

Back to abusing my body...I sent in my paperwork to mentor for the upcoming spring season for the Lavaman triathlon in Hawaii!! This basically means that I will have a small group of teammates that I can slowly corrupt into people who will be comfortable talking about peeps and poops. Brian is still on board so this weekend we need to get serious about finding him a bike. Which means we should get ready to drop a whole lotta cash. It will be well worth it! I am very much looking forward to sharing some of this experience with him. I am going to have a field day with pics of him in spandex,,,,oh man I can hardly stand the anticipation.

Training this week was pretty lax.

I did some swimming Tuesday and am thinking I really need to step that up. Perhaps the new speedo I bought will make me WICKED FAST!! I am hoping that with the pilates and yoga that I will get a little stronger in the water and not get lapped by 10 year olds...a girl can dream right? I suffered through another pilates session with the tough instructor. What made it even tougher was he kept using my machine as the example, so then while everyone was starting the exercise I was just getting on trying to figure out what hand to put on what strap and where my leg should go and all that fun stuff. Rather frustrating but I will not give up until I have a rockin 6 pack. Somehow though I think that having a red velvet cupcake after every pilates session may impact that 6 pack. Darn sweet tooth!

I do feel like my body is changing a bit and I am able to stretch further than I ever recall. I am hoping all this conditioning and rolfing will give me an edge to this seasons training.

I am getting back on track with running and did a quick run through the canyons tonight. I am really hoping to learn more about heart rate training this season.

Okay this post has pretty much been a verbal diarrhea and I apologize. That is what happens when it is too hot to sit with a computer on my lap to type. We are in a bit of a heat wave if you will. I will not complain though because there are literally a few months of hot weather and thats it. More beach days to come for us!!!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

bumps in all the wrong places

Since my foot has been aching pretty consistently since lets sayyyyy January I decided to take this Saturday off from my prescribed 7 mile run and return back to yoga. Since I have been doing yoga level 1 for a few months now I figured it was a good time to step it up to yoga 2. Luckily there were no smelly men there because yoga 2 is way more popular so you were pretty much packed in like sardines. I actually for a moment knew what it felt like for some of my students at school who have a hard time being super close to people.
Things I realized:
Yoga 2 was way hotter than yoga 1
I had the prettiest feet BY FAR in the class. Some of these chics had some seriously messed up feet ( i realize this is probably sacrilege in yoga to judge people but seriously cover those things up and certainly don't bring attention to them by painting them with polka dots!)
I now know why everyone uses towels ontop of their mats, because I was slipping and sliding all over the place.
I am in fact a sweater
I can be quite limber when it is 100 degrees.

I will definatley go back. I could tolerate the heat and got a better stretch due to it. However I do like the overall flow and moves of yoga 1.

Since I missed last weeks soccer game I knew today was going to hurt. Especially when I knew there would be no subs for girls yet again and since it was close to 100 degrees on the field. I suffered through the game and we ended up winning. The move of the game for me was perhaps when I had the ball about to hit me in the stomach so I quickly turned around and let it bounce off my ass. My ass actually made a pretty good play. I started to feel really off towards the second half and just sucked at life really. Then when the game was over I started sneezing uncontrollably. Then I got back and got the chills even though its about 90 degrees. THEN I decided to look down my throat since it kills and it is covered in bumps. This is not good. One of my cherub students last week thought he was funny and blew a snot rocket pretty much in my face. This was right before he told me he was "in the hospital" because of his throat. (the funniest part was that once I chastised him for doing that and begged him to use a tissue, he took the tissue and blew the rocket right into was so awesome I had to laugh). I guess sharing is caring!!

To round out my weekend post I would like to share a story about Friday night and how I tried to pay it forward. We were driving back from the beach and I saw a man walking his bike in his bike shoes and had a bad flat tire. Since I live close to where he was I swung home, picked up an extra tube, and even the co2 cartridges to fill it up. I went back and found the poor slug. He flat out refused my help! "well I don't even have a pump" my reply "i figured that so i brought you the co2 cartridges" "i'll just walk home really." Even though he did not take my assistance I felt that it was still a good deed and that hopefully kharma will come back around one day when I need help on the road.

Friday, September 18, 2009


It seems as though my bladder problems have transpired to some students at school. We ended the day today to the sound of the Niagara Falls. I look over and a student who will remain unnamed....had let a geyser go on the speech office's floor. I am not quite sure if she understood why I asked her if she had eaten pounds of asparagus, but lets just say it was rather pungent. I had the honor of cleaning it up. I hadn't really cleaned bodily fluids at school in a while so I thought I was due. I asked her if it would be okay if I came over to her house and peed on her floor. One may think this was inappropriate, however after sopping up a gallon on warm urine with the school's "paper towels" (which are really like pieces of paper) I was not amused, although she was plenty amused. This reminds me, I have to shower. Happy Friday!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Master Pee-er

My audition for Wipeout was changed to an earlier time today, so I had to scoot out of work around 9 and make my way to Burbank for the interview. I had my whole outfit together.
Old school sweat band...check
every medal I have ever won from a race....check
t-shirt with "unathletic jody the most unathletic athlete ever" t shirt that was mostly spelt out in big red balls....check check
dolphin shorts....check
knee high athletic socks....check
old school nike's....check

sadly I already owned this whole get up.
I was expecting people to come with crazy get ups, but that was not the case at all. There were a few headbands and some cops in uniform but that was really it. Disappointing for me I was looking forward to some major people watching. They are casting for a show for "america's finest" so there were lots of cops, firemen, teachers and the such.

I waited for about two hours and they finally called my name. I got up sounding like a pack of dogs with all my medals clanging. I could not even tell you what I said when I got in there. I may be an over the top person who loves attention and can not get enough of the spotlight. However when you have two bright lights in your face and a real life camera its kind of nerve wracking!

I was first asked what my nickname would be for the show. I had a few ideas and the casting director decided that I should be called "the master pee-er" due to my stories about how great I did at peeing my self during the triathlon. I am pretty sure that if I do make it on the show I will probably have to wear a diaper because I know there will be some spillage that day. Although it is mainly in a pool so I will have to try my hardest to get it done while under the water and not running around the course.

They then asked me some adjectives to describe myself. I started with "karaoke queen" and told some stories about winning karaoke contests for interpretive dancing and such. They asked me what my last performance was and I broke into my Rick James "super freak" for them. It was a good performance.

I am not sure how this came up, but at one point I showed them my ass. ONLY because I have a GIANT horrific looking bruise on it. It is either from me getting pushed over by a student last week and landing on a medal bar, or from this weeks rolfing session... either way it is horriffic and they were grossed out. sweet.

What I was most pleased about was they were extremely interested in my efforts for the leukemia and lymphoma society. I thought they would rather hear about the stupid funny stuff!!
At one point he asked me if I was a "hero". I don't know where that came from, but apparently my story prompted him to ask me that. I said i'm sure I am to some people, but I bet that those people are actually my heroes. hmmmn.

At one point he looked at me and said "now lets face it, you are a tiny girl". Okay bud I have never been referred to as tiny. I immediately flashed my guns, and he said "what am I supposed to be looking at?" I then turned around, flexed my ass as hard as I could and said "check out these guns buddy!" I think he was trying to get me fired up about why I felt I could complete the course. I simply pointed to my medals and said if I could finish all these races I can certainly bounce off a few balls, fall down on my face, and still finish the course. I practically do that everyday as it is!

All I know is I had him laughing his butt off and at the end he said it would be a "travesty" if I did not get chosen for the show. They film from September til February and they said they still have over a 1000 people to interview and will not call until it is your month to show up. Until then I will be prepared. I will bounce off as many things as possible. I will jump on top and over things. I will spin around in circles and practice my "battle cry."

Monday, September 14, 2009


Not sure if any of you recall a few months back when I applied to be on the show Wipeout, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut I got a call from the casting director this afternoon and on Thursday I have my "interview" in LA.

Basically their email to me with the details states that I need to dress up like a jackass (check I can handle that although I am not sure what to go with). However my outfit will be my schtick with the show, the person I want to identify myself as to the nation. Do I want to be "cameltoe extraodinaire" in my purple suit? Do I want to be a donkey? Not so sure about this one. I am thinking about going with the theme and motto of my blog "the most unathletic athletic person around" and wear all of my medals from races but with my helmet and knee pads and wrist guards and such and just fall alot.

I also need to come up with 3 unique adjectives to describe myself....
most of mine are not adjectives (i.e. masshole really a noun). I basically need adjectives to describe the fact that I talk about bowel movements on a regular basis (perhaps inappropriate?, foul?) and that I thoroughly enjoy watching people hurt themselves and fall, especially if they are over the age of say 70 (no self control, immature, asshole, my fathers daughter?). I mean really how do I describe myself using just one word besides AWESOME of course?

I need a nickname and a battle cry/victory dance to show them. Its when they show you at the top of the obstacle course and you yell out something that could or could not sound like something asian and do something with your arms so that you can see your sillouette do it at the top. (karate kid move? the football block? ridiculously flexing my non-existent muscles?)
Bri thinks I should go with my michael flatley's lord of the dance move that I typically can only do when intoxicated. I could always do my lanky arms flailing one way while the rest of my body goes the other. I could go for my rainbow arm to the ground in the back while I hump the air.

And finally, how do I want America to remember me by? Hopefully not as the girl who died during the filming of Wipeout!

Thursday, September 10, 2009


Isn't she sweet? This is Les the scottish triathlete that whooped my ass every Tuesday night during my season. (it is blurry because my hands were likely shaking after the workout from fatigue) She trains lots of triathletes and has a "braveheart brick" every Thursday night in Mission Bay. After a truly LOOOOOOOOOOONG day (and don't you people complain about sitting at your desk, when some of us get full out malled at work, and then fight with lots of begrudged school bus drivers cause THATS fun to do) of work I decided that I needed a good workout to get rid of the nasty feeling I had all day. It did not help that I was fragile due to two nights in a row of animal activity that caused both Belle and I to be up growling (belle not me) from 3am on.
Anyways I made it to the workout and there was quite a turnout and a variety of people. I certainly missed Lesley's rants "GOGOOGOGOGO JODY come on, come on come on, use those long legs girl, come ON" its really amazing in her accent.
I would like to ask fellow athletes a favor though. Please don't say "i'm sooooooooo slow" about yourself. Especially when you are running past me over and over again. You can only say you are slow if you truly are slow. I don't care, noone cares. If I cared about being slow I would certainly never do anything. Instead of feeling inadaquete next to the seasoned triathletes all around I just worried about myself and my personal improvement. We started with about a 10 minute spin, then did a 10 minute run. Then we did some windsprints. We got on our bikes and did 5 minutes of 30seconds hard, 30 seconds easy. THEN we started our workout.(yeah)
our set:
6 minutes on the bike (30 seconds standing above threshold, 85 rpms, 30 seconds sitting at threshold, 95rpms) and we did that six times.
Then off our bikes as gracefully as I could manage and off running. Well it was pretty much sprinting for me. I was actually running at a 8:30 pace for some of it which is super fast/sprinting/puking in my mouth fast. We did about a half mile up two small hills. Then we repeated two more times for a total of 3 times on the bike and 3 runs. We were timed and I did the first whole set in 10:31, second set 9:56, third set 9:51. Not bad for being totally fatigued and not in the best shape. Below is the amazing view I had while doing this. Not bad huh?!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

please make him stop

I bought a package to the pilates studio that I went to last week because I so loved the workout. Welllllllllllllll tonights class was a bit more hardcore than my little "intro" class last week. Walking in I thought the instructor looked cool. He had that little surfer guy look with bloodshot eyes, didn't know he would be my nemesis. This shit was out of control. I could not even do 80% of the stuff and never even broke a sweat because I could not even wrap my head around half the stuff. I was twisted and contorted while on a moving glider. It seemed that we spent most of the time doing all the things that sucked last week but for a really long time and did none of the fun things that we did last week. Apparently there are levels to the classes and I had no idea. I feel like it if were yoga it would be the class where people are standing on their heads and look like cirque du soleil performers. Every part of my body that is the weakest was focused on in just about every exercise. I just kept looking at LG with that "what the F*#A!" look on my face. Oh and I swore. ALOT. I will be sure to try to email the owners to see when the more beginner friendly classes are because I don't feel like I got anything out of that. Its never fun to feel like a complete idiot/weakling/incompetent/pathetic individual. Its a darn good thing that there is a fantastic cupcake place underneath the studio. It may perhaps be the only thing that keeps me going back. I sure hope it gets easier!! Red velvet cake makes it all a little better though.

Monday, September 7, 2009

not in my house

awwwwwwww Belle misses her papa already!!

I am happy to report that my soccer team Petos Locos pulled away with our first W of the season! We had an 8am game which meant yes we would be up early but at least it wouldn't be super hot! Of course the girls had no subs again but I didn't really even feel like I needed one because the weather was so great. This W could also be attributed to the fact that it was the only white boy/girl team that we played. At one point some guy was trying to come down into MY area and I decided to yell in his face "not in my house buddy!" and stole the ball, at this point the game was close, but soon enough we would pull away and won 12-5! Sweet victory!

I rounded out the summer with getting a pedicure and picked possibly the ugliest color they had...canary yellow! Why not?!

We met up with some friends last night at Coronado and had a bonfire on the beach. I can't believe we have been here a year and just finally spent an evening at the beach like that. It was pretty awesome, and I think I took down about 4 s'mores. Good times

When we were driving to the beach we noticed that there were TONS of people down the park at the end of our street. Lots of people cookout there and have get togethers. Last Labor Day weekend was when Belle and I almost got taken out by a drunk driver who smacked into a whole bunch of cars, drove on sidewalks, and plowed through the park pretty much with his car all banged up. This year we drove home from the beach and could not get down our street because there were about 30 police cars, news trucks and that awful yellow tape. Of course I took to the web and found out there was a shooting there and that they are looking "for someone suspicious" and that a man got shot in the head. NICE!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

the sweet spot

Today consisted of a few athletic endeavors. I convinced one of my running buddies from work who trained for her first half with me last year to sign up for the Silver Strand Half Marathon and training started today. We met up at Mission Bay and ran 5 miles. She brought a friend she met at the dog park which was fun for me because she just did the full Ironman in Arizona last April. Of course I was picking her brain about training. Always a fun thing when you meet people you have lots in common with totally randomly (we have the same dog sitter as well). Its always better to run with people and way more motivating to gab it up and talk about anything and everything (typically with runners/tri people it is usually bowel movements of the loose nature), and soon enough we were finishing up our 5 miles around the bay.

Hours later I went back to the bay for second athletic endeavor of the day: Paddleboarding (see picture above)
I was meeting friends there but since they were late and my time had already started I decided to get out there alone. Luckily I watched a youtube video (apparently its all about finding the "sweet spot" on the board) about it last week so that helped a bit cause the guy there just pointed said "board, life jacket, paddle" thanks bud. Luckily I am a total natural and figured it out pretty quickly and was cruising around. My friends eventually showed up and by then I was an old pro giving them pointers. Perhaps the most amusing part was the crazy fish that kept jumping out of the water, all over the place. I was tempted to smack one on the head with my oar and bring it home for dinner but I probably would have fallen off. Since its been a while about posting about peeing myself I feel I should share that I peed myself as soon as I got on the board while kneeling. I mean I didn't want to swim in the bay if I didn't have to so I peed and then pushed water onto myself with the oar to cover it up. I am so crafty like that. I think i'll end on that note.

Friday, September 4, 2009

LuLu John

We hit up Del Mar race track yesterday, where the turf meets the surf. We only made it for 3 races but got to see the beautiful horses and racetrack. It would be fun if they had a people race on there....will have to look into that. Of course we lost money and I just bet on the ones with cool names. The last race I decided to go with lucky #11, but was advised to bet on two horses, so I did. Guess who won? #11! Oh well I bet wrong on it, and not to mention I lost my ticket so even if I bet correctly I would not have won jack.
I like to pretend that I won though, that is also fun.

And to point at things that are not happening so that the picture looks more interesting.
Anyhoo we had a great dinner right on the water with some of my tri friends and my old coach so that was great to catch up and my dad got a chance for story telling time which is always entertaining.
Once I figure out how to upload pictures right from my new pimped out phone I will add more pictures, but til then here ya go!
Oh by the by, I know I mentioned that the rolfing I am doing might make me taller. Wellllllllll I had Dr appointment this week and they always measure and weigh you and turns out I have grown and am officially 5'9', which is convenient because thats what I used to tell people anyways. For some reason when people ask how tall I am and I say 5'8 they are just not satisfied, so I usually say 5'9'. I am thinking once the rolfing is done ill probably try to get into the WNBA.
As for the title of my post, one thing I learned about the horses names is that they are alot of times a combination of their mother and their fathers names, so if I were a horse I would be LuLu John. Off for more fun before my dad has to leave tomorrow night!