Friday, April 9, 2010

the fast and the FURIOUS

I am solely posting this so that I will remember everything that I learned at my swim lesson. I don't think I have had a swim lesson since I was about 6. It was great. I met with Ruthy a local pro and lifeguard. She certainly knew her stuff and it was so nice to have someone just watching me and my form and how to make it better. Swimming is kind of like golf sometimes. Everyone has their own way of giving you helpful pointers and it seems like the more they tell you the suckier you get!
Ruthy had a way of breaking it all down. Lucky for me there was not a TON that I was doing wrong. The first focus point to work on was my head position. Turns out I was sticking my head way under the water which is not good. Instead it should be hitting just about where your swim cap comes up. Even with that pointer I felt like I was actually on top of the water. Like kind of when you have a wetsuit on.
Second and third focus were pretty much on my stroke which I have never really known what the hell to do there. So basically I was entering the water by my ear (in my defense I was taught all of this stuff my first year of triathlon). Then I was pulling back with my elbow instead of using my gangly arms to my advantage and entering the water after reaching further.
Third was to pretend to "climb the barrels" and basicallylook like you were hugging a barrel when pulling and windmilling your arms back up around out of the water.
Once I put these all together I felt like I was flying towards the wall. It was like the swimming fairy had come and sprinkled the super fast fairy dust all over me. It was great. I was so pleased. At the end she asked me what my typical 100 was. I know it has never been lower than 2 minutes and usually over. Pretty pathetic. What was more aggravating was that I never really saw any improvement despite swimming a bunch and learning tons of drills. Turns out doing the drills with crappy form will do that to you!
I shaved 10 seconds off of my 100 without even trying!!!!!!!!! AND this is with my bum shoulder.

I am now going to take a few moments to rant about taxes. Read this in the Nancy Kerrigan voice "WHY WHY WHY?!?!" I just don't get it. So it turns out that when you pay thousands and thousands of dollars to get a degree so that you make more money that actually screws you. Cause you see when you earn more money you have to pay MORE taxes. Yeah I KNOW! (clearly I do not pay attention to this kind of thing.) So now not only do you have about 100 K in loans but now you have a better job because of it and you actually make around the same as you did BEFORE you went to school when you factor in your monthly payments. THAT IS AWESOME!
WHY DID WE GET MARRIED! Okay I thoroughly enjoyed my wedding in Mexico, BUT we never should have made it legal here. Turns out you are heavily PENALized for not owning a house OR having children. EXCUSE ME!!! I still pay someone ELSES mortgage AND have a dog who I am pretty sure costs us more than a child. So people, please wait be married until AFTER you have had children. You will be better off.
TURNS OUT Obama's tax decrease just meant that less was coming out of your paycheck but you STILL OWE THE SAME DAMN THING! Oh and if you did not procreate or buy a house because then you are triply screwed! After crying for literally 2 days I am now just a bitter bitter woman scorned by the man. Stupid man. Bri has decided we are going to start our own country. Merillstan where taxes are the same across the board! I am just going to start working the streets so we can possibly make this payment in time.
I wonder what will be on our flag?


Ashley said...

Yeah, taxes BLOW. And I don't even know HOW or WHY, but we NEVER get a return - we ALWAYS owe...and we have 2 kids and a mortgage! What?! Yeah. Stupid. But my husband is also always saying how it's better to get more in our checks each month than to give the IRS a temporary loan throughout the year that they earn interest on just to get it back in our return later. But I still don't get how we always owe at the end of the year. It's crazy. :(

kristen said...

Girl don't even get me started on that bullshit. Every time a democrat says, "tax break" it's all bullshit. There are literally hundreds of ways those fuckers take money from us. People aren't privy enough to understand the tax code because it's like a million pages long. ok, not a million - but pretty damn close. Lowering income taxes just means they are picking it up somehwere else. Sorry you have to come up with a shit ton of money.

On the flip side - I think I'll benefit from your tips. I think I put my head to far down to.