namaste my ass

These posts are mostly going to be so that I recall in detail to my Dr's exactly what I am feeling. Typically I find that the way things work for me here in California are that by the time I see the specialist my issues are gone and I can't recall how terrible they were. I am pretty aggravated that I still can't call the gastro until thursday and lord only knows how long it will be to get the colonoscopy. For a normal person this would suck. But for someone whose body literally breaks down when it can't exercise this is no good. I get moody, depressed, almost always throw out my back and way more stressed because my only stress relief is to exercise.

I have had adequate energy to make it through a work day, but the kids have been shockingly mellow. I thought I would attempt to "workout" today. I got on the trainer in the house and rode very easy for about 20 minutes. First 10 were uncomfortable then I was okay, then the pain came. So I got off and got prepared for a much needed massage.

I have been busy getting contact info for people with crohns and colitis so I can get prepared for that possible diagnosis. I will be shocked if it isn't. And with the shock I will be pissed. I just still cannot figure out how or why no other dr has referred me to a gastro. I have been complaining of this issue for AT LEAST 5 years. I guess its just getting to the point now where it is screwing with my quality of life that I finally got insistent. The Dr I am dealing with now is kind of making me feel like a pain in the ass with my questions. However if Dr's weren't such morons my mother may actually still be alive. So there is always that playing in my head.

I do not know how people cope with serious illness. For about 24 hours I freaked that I may have the big C, and it was awful. I cannot imagine what people actually go through hearing that..talk about stress. Turns out my labs were only "slightly abnormal" and nothing to worry about. Thank goodness. Its no fun spending life waiting for bad news, but I guess thats just how i'm wired. Geesh when did I get so negative? Gosh I really need exercise back in my life. SEcond thought I need YOGA back in my life. Good thing I teach it tomorrow at school! Namaste everybody!