My wipeout review

So this is what ACTUALLY went down. I have been waiting to post this since October but we were under strict rules not to talk about the course until it aired. So here goes. Since I was only shown for a total of about 3 seconds here is my recall of what went down on my day at WIPEOUT!

So this was my battle cry, I did a karate kick and sang to vanilla ice's ice ice baby. "yo big red balls you can suck it!" and then I went backwards into my typical backbend and humped the air. Your typical graceful moves from yours truly.

I should back up a bit. My nickname was given to me at the initial interview and I was deemed the Master Pee-er. This was due to my story about how I suck at everything triathlon EXCEPT peeing myself during the race. It is a skill that develops for people and I just happened to be born for that skill. Basically I had a 10 minute interview with the host Jill in which I told her that she was in Bri's top 5 and how that was okay because I put every guy there that day in my top 5 for the day (if you saw the show you would know why that was funny). It came up that I was 30 and so was Jill so I did a WHS cheer and yelled GO HAWKS. My friends at the bar would have appreciated that. Thanks to the Waltham News Tribune for the front page coverage! News must have been lagging this week huh?! I said alot of other inappropriate things thinking that I gave them plenty to go on, but I guess not!! back to the course!

The diving planks were first up. This mud sucks. Like real bad. It gets in your lungs and is just nasty and cold and really tough to get through, kind of sucks you in. I fell and fell some more. But what great form!

I do have to say that most men finished the course AND PUKED. Like bigtime pusses. However alot of the second course relied on upperbody strength to hoist yourself back up on that platform. As you can tell by the lanky limbs my upper body strength is not a strong suit.


Next up was the punching wall. This was one of the only shots I got on tv, taking one in the face. For some reason I thought I got kind of far, but not so much. As people were coming back from the course I did notice they were covered in various colors. I should have known. It took about 3 weeks to stop finding this shit in my ears and other orifices of my body.

After the punching wall were the big red balls. I do not recall anything about those, judging by the pictures it looks like I hit one but fell to the side. Thank goodness. Next was the shakealator. I ALMOST made it across this when a wrecking ball took me out from behind. Last was the slide and as you can see I timed it perfectly to not hit any holes.

I finished up by doing an irish step dance on the circle and probably saying something really stupid judging by the way Jill is laughing.

I made it to the second round and although it looked like I never tried I assure you I fell off that frigin thing at least 20 times. It got so bad that at one point I swam up to the producer and asked if my eyes were bleeding. And I was not kidding. It was by far the most fun day I have probably ever had in my life. THe people were just hilarious and some totally weird. But most were those I never would have met and I can't wait to get together with them soon. We spent the ENTIRE day together so you really have to make the most of it. Its ALOT of sit and wait. As my friend LG can attest, when I walked to the car I was once again COVERED in mud cause I fell in the mud at the ranch while walking to the car. I was a real good time. I am sorry I didn't get more coverage cause I know you would have laughed but obviously I was way too cool for ABC. It was a suuuuuuuuper fun time and I am so glad I did something like this while I had the chance out here in Cali. YO BIG RED BALLS LETS KICK IT!