moving on

Our time is dwindling. It is all about goodbyes right now, which sucks but I am so grateful for the lifelong friends I have met (yes you LG). Luckily alot of the people I have met have east coast ties.
Today was awesome. The weather was perfect when I woke up, which has not been the case here in Coastal Socal as of late. I got up early and drove to southern Orange County to check out a pilates studio that is using the new machines that I will use at my studio. The ones I am used to are the older model. The owner of SeaFit Studio in San Juan Capistrano was so welcoming and helpful to me today. What was even better was hearing from the loan guys that things are finally moving on that front. I have been apprehensive to share too much because I did not want to jinx anything, but I am getting really excited to bring this awesome workout to the Boston area. It will be epic. I forgot what a tough workout it was until I was shaking all over and sweating my buns off.
I got to chat to the owner and got some pointers from her. After that it was top down weather all the way down the coast until I stopped at In n Out burger. I mean it feels kind of gross after, but I know once I am back east I will hope I had more of it around.
Todays awesomeness also included a final massage from Roz my masseuse extraordinaire. She has become a great friend and is so knowledgeable on anything and everything especially when it comes to the body and how it works. I am so grateful for her and for helping me to realize the potential of my body when I take care of it.
My other awesomeness of the day came from a book. Right after I lost my mom I found myself in the good ole grief section of the book store. I wanted to empower myself and learn as much about the grieving process as I could. I recently found myself on Amazon and found a book that was the sequel to the one I read years ago. Although it does not really relate to me at the moment (its about raising your kids without a mother), it is the topic that scares me to death. After just a few pages I found it does relate to me, there are other motherless daughters out there who like me know what a tremendous loss it is, and are apprehensive about starting our own families in fear of how that loss could be magnified. I need to find these other freakshows and maybe just maybe I can get over it. Anyways in this section I was reading it mentioned a social worker who happens to run groups in Boston so I AM IN LUCK!!! I already emailed her.
While the fitness and training and fundraising has been like a therapy for me, I guess its time for some professional help. YAY ME! So please people, stop asking if I am having kids. You have no idea how messed my head is. God bless my husband.