Master Pee-er

My audition for Wipeout was changed to an earlier time today, so I had to scoot out of work around 9 and make my way to Burbank for the interview. I had my whole outfit together.
Old school sweat band...check
every medal I have ever won from a race....check
t-shirt with "unathletic jody the most unathletic athlete ever" t shirt that was mostly spelt out in big red balls....check check
dolphin shorts....check
knee high athletic socks....check
old school nike's....check

sadly I already owned this whole get up.
I was expecting people to come with crazy get ups, but that was not the case at all. There were a few headbands and some cops in uniform but that was really it. Disappointing for me I was looking forward to some major people watching. They are casting for a show for "america's finest" so there were lots of cops, firemen, teachers and the such.

I waited for about two hours and they finally called my name. I got up sounding like a pack of dogs with all my medals clanging. I could not even tell you what I said when I got in there. I may be an over the top person who loves attention and can not get enough of the spotlight. However when you have two bright lights in your face and a real life camera its kind of nerve wracking!

I was first asked what my nickname would be for the show. I had a few ideas and the casting director decided that I should be called "the master pee-er" due to my stories about how great I did at peeing my self during the triathlon. I am pretty sure that if I do make it on the show I will probably have to wear a diaper because I know there will be some spillage that day. Although it is mainly in a pool so I will have to try my hardest to get it done while under the water and not running around the course.

They then asked me some adjectives to describe myself. I started with "karaoke queen" and told some stories about winning karaoke contests for interpretive dancing and such. They asked me what my last performance was and I broke into my Rick James "super freak" for them. It was a good performance.

I am not sure how this came up, but at one point I showed them my ass. ONLY because I have a GIANT horrific looking bruise on it. It is either from me getting pushed over by a student last week and landing on a medal bar, or from this weeks rolfing session... either way it is horriffic and they were grossed out. sweet.

What I was most pleased about was they were extremely interested in my efforts for the leukemia and lymphoma society. I thought they would rather hear about the stupid funny stuff!!
At one point he asked me if I was a "hero". I don't know where that came from, but apparently my story prompted him to ask me that. I said i'm sure I am to some people, but I bet that those people are actually my heroes. hmmmn.

At one point he looked at me and said "now lets face it, you are a tiny girl". Okay bud I have never been referred to as tiny. I immediately flashed my guns, and he said "what am I supposed to be looking at?" I then turned around, flexed my ass as hard as I could and said "check out these guns buddy!" I think he was trying to get me fired up about why I felt I could complete the course. I simply pointed to my medals and said if I could finish all these races I can certainly bounce off a few balls, fall down on my face, and still finish the course. I practically do that everyday as it is!

All I know is I had him laughing his butt off and at the end he said it would be a "travesty" if I did not get chosen for the show. They film from September til February and they said they still have over a 1000 people to interview and will not call until it is your month to show up. Until then I will be prepared. I will bounce off as many things as possible. I will jump on top and over things. I will spin around in circles and practice my "battle cry."